I don't want to make a real big deal about this, because I'm trying very hard to take my focus OFF this illness, but still....

I've had it for years and back in about 2004 I was very ill with it.

I had a nervous breakdown about that time and I was so low, all I wanted to do was die. I seemed to be teetering on the edge of a huge black hole! ALL THE TIME!

I mean really, I didn't want to be here any longer, not on this planet, not in this life.

BUT....I do firmly believe that if we end our lives by running away from problems/issues/bad times, then we WILL just have to come back and do it all over again.

And BELIEVE ME, there is no way in hell I'm coming back to do this all over again!

So, I take medication which does help, but not totally.
I still have real bad days.

The main thing is to fill your time with books, painting or whatever, anything, as long as you don't have too much time to think negatively.

Also try to think only good positive stuff...it's hard and doesn't always work, but it should be the main goal!

And if you ever feel so bad, that you are thinking of ending it....seek help!! I can't stress that enough.


Depression.com  (U.S.)

Beyond Blue   (Australia)